A HAPPYGRAM


It’s political humor time.

 

JRH 4/1/12 (Hat Tip Vicki)

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A HAPPYGRAM

 

Chain Email

Sent: Apr 1, 2012 at 1:54 PM

 

If this doesn’t cheer you up, nothing will…..

 

BHO - I quit

 

You know the honeymoon is over when the comedians start in.

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree…and think 25 to life would be
appropriate.
–Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy
Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
–Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s’
new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you
has to pay for it.
–Conan O’Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call
lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
–Jay Leno

Q: What’s the difference between
Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers,
and threats to society. The other is for housing
prisoners.
–David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were
on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it
started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
–Jimmy Fallon

Q: What’s the difference between
Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
–Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result
of the “Cash for Clunkers” program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper
stickers off the road.
–David Letterman

Granny animation

 

Solution to the problem in Libya: They want a new Muslim leader, Give them ours.

Psalm 2011 – Political Humor


Here is some hilarious political humor that I believe is a response to the Left’s war on Christianity.

 

JRH 3/10/12 (Hat Tip: Vicki)

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Psalm 2011

 

Political Humor

 

BHO Shepherds Libtard Sheep

 

Obama Is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me Beside the still factories.

 

Labor Day Picnic in Mexico

 

He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment
For his party’s sake.

 

Homeless Guy & Gal toon 2Homeless Guy & Gal toon

 

Yea, Though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.

 

Burdened with Debt & Taxes

 

He has Anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.

 

Poverty & Mortgage all the Days of Life

 

Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.

 

Patriot Old Lady

 

I’m glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free,

 

Me-dog & BHO-Tree

 

But I wish I was a dog,
And Obama was a tree!

 


PRAY FOR YOUR PRESIDENT!!

 

Pray for BHO bumper sticker PS 109_8

 

—– Psalm 109:8

My wife and I were in slow-moving traffic the other day and we were stopped behind  a car that had an unusual Obama bumper sticker on it. It read: “Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8”.

When we got home my wife got out the Bible and opened it up to the scripture. She started laughing & laughing. Then she read it to me.  I couldn’t believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.

Psalm 109:8 ~ “Let his days be few and brief; and let others step forward to replace him.”

At last — I can honestly voice a Biblical prayer for our president!
Look it up — it is word for word! Let us all bow our heads and pray.

Brothers and Sisters, can I get an AMEN?

Stop the Spread of this Disease


BHO Strait Jacket insane

So, it is time for chain email political humor.

 

If you are a Conservative you will roar with laughter.

 

If you are Leftist, I give you permission to choke on it.

 

JRH 2/15/12 (Hat Tip: Vicki)

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Stop the Spread of this Disease

Information about GonorrheaLectim

 

Chain Email

Sent: Feb 14, 2012 at 11:09 AM

 

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It’s pronounced “Gonna re-elect’em,” and it is a terrible obamanation.
 
The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted it in 2008…but now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.
 
It’s sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market called Votemout. You take the first dose in 2010 and the second dose in 2012 and simply don’t engage in such behavior again; otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.
 
Several states are already on top of this, like Virginia, New Jersey, and Massachusetts, with many more seeing the writing on the wall.
 
Please pass this important message on to all those bright folk you really care about.

Eligible for Welfare?


Here is some political humor about the Welfare State.

 

JRH 8/22/2011 (Hat Tip: Vicki)

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Welfare Candidate’s Photo

Dogs eligible for Welfare

 

This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said, “Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare”. So I explained to her that my dogs are of mixed race and color, unemployed, lazy, can’t speak English and have no frigging clue who their daddies are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care.

So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
My dogs get their first check next Friday.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?

GARFIELD ON THE OIL CRISIS


Garfield cup coffee lg

A lot of folks can’t understand how we came    to have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there’s a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn’t know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located in:
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal   Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
North Dakota
~~~
Wyoming
~~~
Colorado
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
And
Texas
~~~
Our dipsticks are located in DC
Any Questions?  NO? Didn’t think So.

 

JRH 3/10/11 (Hat Tip: Stephen)

__________________________________

I received this as chain email. I may have even seen it before; however I enjoyed the humor. I hope you did as well.

Indian Wanting Coffee


This election joke was sent by a friend. It is quite humorous!

 

JRH 10/28/10 (Hat Tip: Vicki)

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Indian Wanting Coffee:

 

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and the other hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.  He says to the waiter:

 

clip_image002clip_image004

 

 

“Want coffee.”

 

The waiter says, “Sure, Chief. Coming right up.”

 

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee…..

 

The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.

 

The next morning the Indian returns.

 

He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling ANOTHER male buffalo with the other.

He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter:

 

clip_image006

 

“Want coffee.”

clip_image008

The waiter says, “Whoa, Tonto!

 

We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.  What was all that about, anyway?”

 

The Indian smiles and proudly says,

 

clip_image010

 

“Training for position in United States Congress.

 

Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.”

 

ON NOVEMBER 2 VOTE THEM ALL OUT OF OFFICE!